Turning the Negativity Train Around

Image by Ianqui Doodle

“Negativity is the enemy of creativity.”  —David Lynch

Everyone experiences negativity sometimes.  We have niggling self-doubt, depressed thoughts, frustrations or anger about all kinds of things in our lives.

The problem occurs when that little engine of negativity starts racing downhill like a train without brakes.  It’s gonna take out anything good in its tracks and be pretty dang hard to turn around once it gets going.

Including our creativity.

Unfortunately, writers (and other creatives) can develop the really bad habit of thinking negatively about themselves and their craft.  We say (or think) things like:

  • I’ll never write as well as Stephen King, so why bother?
  • My family will never support me in my writing/I’m taking time away from my family.
  • I can’t plot.
  • I’m too embarrassed to ever let anyone see my work.
  • My writing is always rejected.
  • I’ll never have enough time.
  • No agent will sign me.
  • The publishing industry sucks.

The problem with all this negativity is that, once you get going, it’s sooo hard to pull yourself out of it.  (Newton knew what he was talking about when he talked about the first law of motion, yo.)

The momentum of negativity zaps creativity and motivation right outta here.  If you go into a writing session, for instance, thinking that this manuscript is just going to be rejected like all your others, how much effort are you really going to put into it?

All this negativity usually falls into a few different categories:  negativity about your writing, negativity about the writing industry, and negativity about living up to expectations.  Depending where your negative train is headed makes all the difference in how you turn it around.

Negativity about your writing

When you feel that your writing stinks and will never get any better, just remember this:  every writer, no matter how famous now, started in the exact same place you are.  New York Times Bestsellers weren’t born with their names on the list. They had to go through the same process you do of dreaming up an idea, drafting it out, editing it, editing it some more, submitting it, getting rejected, submitting it some more.

It’s highly unlikely that their first book was published.  More probably, they have just as many awful manuscripts under their beds as you will have by the time you’re “make it.”

Something that may surprise you, too, is that even famous authors have negative thoughts. Maybe even more so. They have bad days or days when the writing doesn’t flow or when they just can’t get the right words on the page. They worry about whether the current manuscript will live up to the last one or whether fans will be disappointed.

The difference is, they don’t allow that negativity to keep them from making a living.

Negativity about the writing industry

There’s always something to complain about regarding the writing industry, and always someone happy to complain, just in case you don’t have enough negativity of your own.

The deal is this:  the writing industry is hard.  But so is becoming a doctor or a lawyer.  So is making it to upper management of a big corporation. So is owning your own business. So is being a parent. Sometimes so is just getting out of bed every day!

Anything worth doing is hard.

Instead of complaining about how hard something is, though, successful people study it, figure out how to work through the hard parts, and persevere through the tough times.  They become informed about what to expect, so they don’t focus only on the potential good parts and then get floored by the not-so-good parts.

Negativity about living up to expectations

Expectations, real or imagined, can produce a lot of negativity. Whether they are your outlandish expectations for yourself (I’ll sell my first book for six figures and a movie deal) or the expectations you believe others have for you (my wife expects me to become the next J. K. Rowling while never missing a minute of family time).

Goals are great, but setting your own expectations too high can make you feel defeated.  Rather than allowing yourself to grow as a writer, your expectations can set you up for failure when you experience the snail’s pace of the industry or repeated rejections as you’re starting out.

Feeling pressured by other’s expectations can bring guilt and fear into what should be a fun, creative part of your life. Sometimes that guilt involves making writing a priority when others feel they should be your priority.  And sometimes it’s about the fear of being judged by family and friends for what you write or what you think they expect of you as a writer.

Reversing that runaway train

There are lots of ways to turn around negativity.  Give some of these a try and see if you can put yourself in a more positive frame of mind, which is sure to help your creativity!

  • Keep a notebook (or a Pinterest board) of positive writing quotes, or quotes that just make you feel better about writing. Read them often, particularly when feeling down.
  • Read articles by or interviews with writers who have “made it.” They are often full of stories that will make you feel some camaraderie with others who have been right where you are and presevered.
  • When you feel yourself becoming consumed by a particular negative thought, ask yourself, “Can I be 100% certain this is true.?” I’m pretty sure that most famous writers didn’t start out thinking they would be famous writers.  You can’t be 100% certain that you’ll never write as well as Stephen King or J.R.R Tolkien.  Are you 100% certain you “don’t have time to write” (or are you really just choosing to spend your time on other things)?
  • Surround yourself with positive writers. If you find that your writing friends just fuel your negativity, it’s time to find different friends. A positive support group can make all the difference.
  • Set realistic expectations of yourself. Talk to other, more experienced writers, and ask them about their paths.  Knowing what to expect can help you feel more grounded in reality and less likely to put pressure on yourself. Share this information with family and friends who may have outlandish expectations. Talk about the truth of this career and ask them for the support you need from them.
  • One of Rock Your Writing’s philosophies is, “The only way out is through.” This mantra will get you through a lot of tough times and counteract much of your negative thinking  about your writing when it feels too hard or like it’s taking too long.
  • Use some of your negativity to fuel your writing. Who better to create a realistically frustrated character than someone who is experiencing frustration?
  • Build your skills.  You can improve your writing by taking courses, hiring a coach, joining a critique group, etc. Most of all, though, you can improve your writing by WRITING.   The more you write, not worrying about the end result, the better chance you have of publishing.

You’ll never be positive 100% of the time.   But whether you wallow or change tactics to beat those negative feelings determines whether you’re a positive writer or a negative one. And which of those writer personas you identify with plays a huge part in your ability to be successful.

Rock on!

~ Shannon McKelden

Quitting 101 for Writers

quitProbably the biggest complaint I hear from writers is that they “don’t have enough time” to write.

This is usually followed, in the next breath, by listing all the things they’ve got going. All the social events, clubs, projects, volunteer activities, charity work, parental commitments, etc., they have been participating in.  And then how exhausted they are.  And how they can’t fit writing in anywhere.

Even though writing is supposedly a “priority.”

Even though publishing is “all they have ever dreamed of doing” with their lives.

The problem is, no matter how much of a priority something is, if you’re not making time for it, it really isn’t a priority. No matter how many times you call it that.

Actions speak louder than words. If you say writing is a priority, then take action to make it a priority!

So, how do you make time for writing? By quitting.

What?! “Quit,” you say? But winners never quit and quitters never win!

I beg to differ.

When is Quitting Okay?

How many of you struggle with quitting reading a book that you hate or that’s boring?  How many of you are still volunteering for something that no longer interests you or that you’ve come to dread?

Quitting, even something you’ve come to despise, can be really unpleasant for some folks.

But in order to make writing a priority, you can’t just talk about it.  You have to really make it one of the most important things in your life (maybe behind your kids, spouse, health . . . things like that). Remember this, again:  actions speak louder than words.

So, when is quitting okay?

When you’re doing too much –We often do all the things, volunteer for everything, and accept every invitation because of FOMO (Fear of Missing Out).  But you can’t do everything, so it’s okay to be selective. There’s only so much time in a day, and spreading yourself thin can be hard on your health, family, and most definitely any chance you have of starting or maintaining a writing career.

When you’re doing things that aren’t yours to do – Are there things you’re doing that really should be the responsibility of someone else?  Or could they be someone else’s responsibility?  Delegating is a parent’s best friend. No one says you have to clean up after everyone or cook all the meals or drive all the carpools.  If a task can (or should) be done by someone else, hand them their responsibility and stop doing it all yourself.

When you’re only doing it out of habit — Just because you’ve been watching the same soap opera every day for the last ten years, doesn’t mean you have to keep watching it. If you’re only watching it out of habit and not really enjoying the rehashed plotlines, it’s time to quit.

When you’re only doing it because you spent money on it – This is a big one and really hard to get past for some people.  Even if you spent money on something, if it no longer brings you joy, quit. So what if you invested $1000 on piano lessons?  If practicing bores you to tears, you suck at it, and you don’t love it anymore, there’s no reason to keep pursuing it. You may have invested your money, but stop investing your time on something you dislike doing.

When you’re only doing it because someone else expects you to – Did you join a club because your friend begged you to, only to find that you no longer care?  Quit.  If your friend is a true friend, they will understand that you need to make writing a priority in your life.

When what you’re doing doesn’t support your goals — Don’t let saying “yes” become more important than reaching your own goals and dreams.   If the activity in question isn’t supportive of what you’re reaching for in your life, it’s time to quit.  If it doesn’t bring you joy, quit.

How (and What) to Quit

Once you’ve made the decision to quit those extraneous things in your life to make more time to write, how do you go about it?  How do you decide what has to stay and what can go?

Make a pros and cons list –  Not sure whether you still want to belong to the service club you’ve belonged to for ten years?  What do you like about it? What do you dislike about it? If there are any cons, consider quitting if there’s no passion left.

Ask for outside opinions from trusted friends or family – Is there anything in your life that they have been telling you to quit?  Ask for their honest thoughts . . . keeping in mind that if you’re trying to quit an activity that they are invested in, they might not be the right person to ask.

Figure out how much extra time you’ll gain by quitting –  How much time do you spend at each of your activities on a weekly basis?  Start by calculating the most time-consuming activity you participate in, and see if it still seems as appealing, if quitting it could give you back that equally large amount of writing time.

Finally, try applying the KonMari method – From the crazy popular book The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo, this is really meant to tidy up your life by getting rid of material things that no longer bring you joy.  Applying this same method to the activities you participate in, though, could have an amazing effect on the time you have available to write!

One thing Kondo suggests in the book is clearing out all at once, rather than little by little.  Throwing one thing out a day isn’t going to clean your house up fast. On the other hand, ridding your house, all at the same time, of every item of clothing that isn’t bringing you joy will feel so good, you will be less likely to “relapse” into bad habits or add more things to your wardrobe that leave you joy-less.

Same with that long list of activities you participate in!  Try listing all the things you do (aside from the necessary things, like feeding your kids and getting regular dental checkups) and then go through them one by one, all at the same time, and decide what really brings you joy.

“Start by discarding,” says Kondo. “Then organize your space, thoroughly, completely, in one go.” [Emphasis mine.]

And by “space,” in this instance, we’re talking about your writing “space” – the time you spend, or want to spend – pursuing your goals and dreams.

Once you know what brings you joy, you know what to keep.  Ditch the rest.  Be a quitter and make time for the writing that you love and want more time for!

Final Quitting Thoughts

Remember, nothing is permanent.  If you quit something and then later find you miss it too much, you can always go back. As long as you aren’t doing it to procrastinate from writing.

If the idea of the KonMari method and quitting things all at once is a bit too much, or if you’re just not sure you want to give up a particular thing yet, at least commit to checking in again in six months to see if you still feel the same about it.  Once you’ve got the idea in your head that you may want to quit this activity, you might find all kinds of reasons cropping up that support this.

Another thing to keep in mind is that we’re talking about quitting things that prevent you from writing — writing that you have determined is a priority for you.

Quitting 101 isn’t a primer on how to quit writing.  Writing is hard work and not always fun.  But there’s a huge difference between quitting something because it’s hard sometimes and quitting something because it leaves you no room for what’s really important in your life.

If you’ve committed to a writing career and decided it is your priority, then look for things to quit that don’t support this priority.

Being a quitter isn’t always bad. Quit the right things. For the right reasons.

And then go Rock Your Writing with all that free time you have.

~  Shannon McKelden

Say No to the Multitasking Mistake

multitasking
Photo courtesy of: https://www.flickr.com/photos/ihavezlatathoughts/

We live in a world that is full of the drive to do more, more, more.  As writers, we suffer from this expectation maybe more than a lot of other people.

We are expected to write more, blog more, market more, be visible on social media more.  It is all Important, with a capital I.  Not doing all these things constitutes failure as a writer. Doesn’t it?

So a lot of us turn to multitasking.

What is Multitasking?

How many of you carry on multiple Twitter conversations while writing?  Or work on more than one book at once. (And by “at once” I mean at the same sitting, maybe even on separate screens.)

How many of you watch TV while working on copyedits or play solitaire while writing your rough draft?  Anyone ever burned dinner because you were sucked into some black hole of research?

The “busy-ness” of multitasking makes us feel like we’re getting a lot done.  If we’re honest about it, though, in most of the above cases, multitasking is really just another term for “unable to concentrate on what I’m supposed to be doing.”

So what exactly is multitasking?  Multitasking is doing more than one thing, side-by-side, which requires one’s attention to be given equally to each.  But since your brain cannot actually focus on two things simultaneously, what you are really doing is switching your attention back and forth between the two things.

Write a paragraph, answer an email, write another paragraph, answer another email. You’re not really working on both at the same time. You’re alternating between two separate things, each of which requires your brain’s undivided attention at the time of the doing.

Writers and Multitasking

Keep in mind that, by “multitasking,” I don’t mean doing different writerly things on different days or at separate times. As a working writer, or one trying to establish relationships with their Right Readers, for example, you may need to assign different tasks to different days.  Writing Monday through Thursday, bookkeeping on Fridays, marketing on weekends.

Alternatively, some writers divide their days into different types of tasks…writing in the mornings and answering emails and doing other business-related tasks in the afternoon.   None of these examples really falls into the category of multitasking because you are focusing on one task at a time.

Sometimes you have to make time for other tasks besides writing spur-of-the-moment. If you’re published, you’ve probably been deep into the first draft of a new book, only to get your editorial letter or your copy edits and have to completely shift gears.  There’s not much you can do about that…because you likely have a deadline.

How Multitasking Affects the Writing

When it comes to the effects of multitasking on the writing, these are the main issues:

  • Decreased productivity. While multitasking may make you feel busy, scientists estimate that productivity is actually decreased by 40% when you’re doing more than one thing concurrently.

Switching your focus to something other than the writing every couple of minutes has the same effect as if you saved your document and closed your program after a few paragraphs, only to need to wait for it to open again to work on it once more a few minutes later.

When you work on something else, then come back to the writing, you have to reboot your brain to get reacquainted with where you were before you can start again. If you’d just kept going, that “reboot” time could have been spent actually writing.

  • Loss of focus. If the words aren’t flowing easily, they certainly aren’t going to flow any better if you allow yourself to shift focus to something else instead, even for a few minutes. You’d be better off staring into space when things aren’t flowing, and letting your brain work out the problem, instead of giving it something completely different to do.
  • Increase in mistakes. Typos, skipping important information in a scene, calling a secondary character by the wrong name.  Sometimes, when you’ve switched tasks, your brain is still back on the other one, which can cause errors.  Another way mistakes can increase is by loss of continuity.  Copy editing while watching TV can cause you to skip sentences. Your focus is pulled away to the television, and when you come back, you don’t go quite back to where you ended, and you miss something.
  • Greater stress level. Yes, believe it or not, task-switching increases adrenaline in your system and actually increases your stress level! While working on your manuscript, your mind may be stressing out over what you might be missing on Facebook.
  • Decreased likelihood of finishing things…like your work in progress. Starting multiple stories and working on them all at once means it’s going to take longer to get these things completed…if they ever do get finished. (You’re liable to get bored with one or both and move on to yet another shiny pretty new things before ever completing any of it.) Multitasking produces activity, not accomplishment.

 

Multitasking Solutions

Are we ever going to be able to get rid of multitasking completely?   Probably not.

But if you’re struggling to get that chapter done, feeling like you’re never quite “in the zone,” wondering why you feel like you’re missing opportunities on Twitter or Facebook to communicate with your readers, finding yourself making mistakes…STOP. Take a look at  your work habits.

It could be that you’re never giving one task all of your attention for any length of time.

Here are a few solutions to making the mistake of multitasking.

  • De-socialize. Turn off email and social media notifications while working. Don’t answer the phone. No one is going to miss you for an hour or two. When you’ve completed your writing for the day, feel free to play on Twitter all you want, giving it all your attention instead of only half of it.
  • Save things for later. DVR your favorite shows if they come on during your writing time. The show will be just as good at another time. Bonus…you will likely pay more attention to the show AND be able to skip commercials.
  • Get rid of distractions. Delete Candy Crush or any other addiction from your phone or computer.  If it’s not there, you won’t be tempted to just “play one more level” between paragraphs. Change when you write.  If all your writing friends hit Twitter at 6 p.m., can you write before that, so you aren’t tempted to multitask?
  • Check into distraction-free writing tools that will help keep you focused.
  • Schedule your tasks and your downtime. Put a day without writing on your calendar, and take care of personal things on that day, or feel free to explore marketing or social media more in depth. Schedule a couple of hours of research time in the morning and then work on the scenes you were gathering research for in the afternoon.  Don’t research as you go.

With a bit of adjustment, you can disable the multitasking bug most of the time.  You’ll find that once you’re focusing better on one task at a time, you’ll accomplish more, faster, and better.

Last month when I wrote my blog post for Rock Your Writing, it took me nearly a week of evenings. This month it took me a few hours one evening, including research time.

Why the big difference?  Last month I wrote while watching TV each night. (And if you don’t think Sam and Dean can take your focus away from what you’re supposed to be doing, you’ve never watched Supernatural.)

This month I turned off the TV and concentrated on one thing, researching and writing my blog post. It took me a fifth of the time.

If that’s not proof of the evils of multitasking, I don’t know what is.

Where do you find multitasking tripping you up?  How do you solve the problem? I’d love to hear your ideas!

Rock Your Writing!

~Shannon McKelden

Writers, suit up. Your game is on.

Writers, suit up. Your game is on. | Rock Your WritingMany authors I meet are in what I call practice mode.

What does practice mode look like?

It can be the writer who is endlessly polishing his writing skills, but hasn’t completed a draft.

Or the author who is plotting an intricate series, but hasn’t written a word.

Or even the novelist who abandons her third partial draft, seduced by the next idea, certain that this one, this one finally, will be the one that takes her from obscurity to the pantheon of writing greatness.

All of them are preparing, so when their time comes — when they’re finally on stage, presenting a finished work to the world — they will be ready. They’re not sure when that moment will be, but they’re fairly certain they will know it when they see it.

You know you’re in practice mode when…

  • You don’t let anyone see your work.  This doesn’t mean you’re not querying, or self-publishing. It means just that: you’re not sharing your work with anyone. If it’s a rough draft, that makes sense. But if you’re on your third revision and you’ve gotten no feedback — you’re probably in practice mode.
  • You don’t complete a single project.  If you’re on your third or fourth manuscript, and you’ve never completed one draft and one revision on any of them, you may be in practice mode. Or you may have technically completed a project, but you keep fiddling with it, polishing it, revising it, rewriting it, with no subconscious intention of letting it go.
  • You have a grand plan, but not an action plan.  If you’ve got a double-trilogy in your head that you’d love to write, but you aren’t carving out time in your schedule to write it beyond “I’ll write every day!” –then you’ve got the dream, but no practical way of executing it. That’s practice.

Sometimes, it makes sense to be in practice mode.

I took a year-long sabbatical from fiction writing last year, because I knew I was burned out. How’d I know? Because I was in a year-long “practice mode” plateau the year prior. I’d start things, then decide they weren’t working.  I’d fiddle endlessly with plot outlines. I’d develop whole series arcs and backstories and then ditch the lot.

I was the Queen of Waffling, the Princess of Practice Mode.  I was also tapped out, completely drained. I needed to shift focus — and more importantly, I needed to give myself specific and clear permission to shift from practice mode into replenishment hibernation. Otherwise, I was going to keep plugging away ineffectively, doomed to failure because I lacked the fuel to get to my goal — and resenting myself for failing, because I didn’t recognize that fact.

Other valid reasons to be in practice mode:

1.  You have no idea what you’re doing.  You’ve just started this whole writing thing, and you’re still  raw and vulnerable.  Practice is just what you need, so that tiny seed of an idea doesn’t get stomped to death by well meaning professionals.

2. You have your own issues to work through beyond writing. This could mean big personal stress factors (death in the family, illness, move, or other major life changes) or it could mean massive writing factors (you’ve been dropped by your publisher, you are trying to change genres, you’re feeling insecure and confused).  Practice mode is your re-training and rehabilitation ground. (Extreme cases can require rehabilitation mode.)

3. You’re scared.  For any reason.  Fear needs to be acknowledged and treated with care.

Everybody’s ready at different times, at their own pace. The trick is to be aware of where you are — and why you’re there.

The problem most authors have: they’re in practice mode, but they think they’re not.  They think they’re “in it to win it” when, in actuality, they haven’t even left the locker room.

Successful authors take the field.

It’s not that they aren’t honing their craft, or plotting larger projects, or deciding which project will best suit their careers.  They may still have plenty to learn. Big issues.  And, yes, they still have fears.

But they’re in motion. Their game is on. The clock is ticking, and they’ve got to play or forfeit their dreams.

They are willing to make mistakes in front of other people. They put their entire hearts into their pursuit. They might be scared, but it’s a bit late for that. They’re in it until the game’s over.

For some, that might be a period of a year. Or a novel, however long that takes. But they know that the time for waffling is over. Whatever their objective is, they’ve burned their boats: there’s no going back.

What would you do if you were totally committed?

I don’t mean “I’d quit my job, move to a shack in Montana and write twenty hours a day, subsisting on only dandelion greens and spring water” committed.  Generally speaking, that’s not commitment, that’s fantasy.  (Or insanity.)

I mean, given the other obstacles you’re facing — negotiating the needs of a day job and a family and your own personal well-being — if you were told “if you write your book this year, there’s a good chance we’ll publish it”, what would you do?

Or what if you were told, “if you promote yourself, build your platform a bit, there’s an excellent chance you’ll have a shot at a life-long career”, what would you do?

Would you go for it? Or would you let it pass you by, think “maybe next year?”

Showing up doesn’t mean winning.

Some might argue that they wouldn’t unless “good chance” got bumped up to “guarantee.”

Sure, if they absolutely knew that there was no way they could fail, they would somehow carve out time to write every day. They’d figure out a strategy for promoting themselves, and diligently, day by day, build up their platform. They’d go to superhuman lengths — if they knew there was no way they could fail.

Successful authors know there are no guarantees. They make the commitment anyway. They create the plan, set aside the time, get the training and support, and go for it.

Sometimes, they pay a harsh price. Rejection, criticism, financial hardship.  Some drop back into practice mode for a while.

They also know one thing that unsuccessful authors don’t:  there is always another season.  They just need to keep playing.

So tell me, in the comments: are you in practice mode? Or are you in the game?

 

 

 

5 Things I Learned By Failing.

I’m taking a little breather from Right Reader related stuff to talk about career planning.

Sort of.

When I got my first contract at 26, I had a goal.  I’d sell 100,000 copies, I thought.  That’d be a decent start.  Then I’d start really making some big numbers.

(If you’re not laughing now, you should be. Trust me.  100,000 copies is nuts, especially for a debut series romance author.)

Still, once I “made it” through the door, I was determined to hit the big leagues.

The one where I decide to become a bestseller.

I have been a fanatical plotter.  My career was no exception: I schemed and plotted that thing within an inch of its life.

I signed contracts for about two books a year. I looked for new markets, and hammered out proposals.  I hung out on email loops (this was pre-Facebook.)  I dropped a couple thousand on a website and business cards. I taught classes and spoke at conferences and established myself enough that I got quoted in papers like the Chicago Tribune and the Washington Post.

Yeah, I had a day job, but I didn’t have kids.  Besides, sleep was for losers.  I had a boatload of caffeine and the determination of… well,  a lemming, in retrospect.

Where life says: “LOL! Good one!”

Life intervened.  My plan — crafted desperately, rather than carefully — crumbled around me.

And about three years ago, I hit a death spiral.

Productivity was a laugh. Contracts went late. I ducked deadlines like dodge balls.

And new writing?  Not even with a gun to my head.

What I learned by failing.

1.  Know what it takes.

When I started, I had no real concept of the numbers it took to make a “bestseller” — or how the industry worked.  I didn’t understand how publishers sent books to booksellers, or what sell-through was and why I needed to care.  I certainly didn’t know I could go from selling 50,000 copies of one title to being left off a catalog the next.

Without understand what needed to be done, and what was in my control (and what wasn’t), all my efforts were like trying to light a fire in the ocean.  It wasn’t for lack of persistence… it was just sheer stupidity.

2.  Know what I’m good at (and what I’m not.)

And we’re back to the Hedgehog.

My world got rocked, and not in the good way, due to circumstances that had nothing to do with my writing.  For me, writing was no longer a sideline dream — it was a bill-payer. And I had a new little human that had expenses.

I actually went to one of my editors and said: “I will write about anything.  I will write about lesbian crack-addicted nuns.  Tell me what the hole is in your list, and I will write it.”

(Yes, I said that.  Verbatim.)

Thanks to this little jaunt into creative problem-solving, I learned that  I can come up with plot ideas all day long.  Doesn’t mean I can write them… which really sucks to discover after I’ve signed the contract on a paragraph proposal, with a seven-month delivery.

I’ve also learned erotica is a very precise art form, and while I admire those that can write it, I’m not in their ranks.

Basically, if I want to sell a lot… I can’t sell out.  Period.

3.  Know my limits.

You know how you can pull all-nighters when you’re twenty, and suddenly you’re thirty-four and something comes up and you think, “I’ll just stay up all night?” Remember how wretched you felt — and how surprised?

I’ve learned that if I’m unhappy, tired, frustrated, or going through cataclysmic life changes — surprise!  It’s incredibly difficult to write!

I know I can’t write the way I used to, in tsunami-styled waves of words.  That said, this “defect” has helped me develop a neat thing called craft.  Like an athlete that discovers natural talent only gets you so far (and seems to decrease as you get older), I am discovering the beauty of developing my skills beyond hotdogging.

4.  Hold the dream, but make the plan.

There’s this Persian saying:  “Trust in God — and tie your camel.”

I was too into the “tying your camel” bit early in my career, admittedly.  In fact, I nearly strangled the thing.

Then, in the dark days of write-for-hire, I sort of abandoned the camel altogether.

I’ve learned the happy medium.  In order to rock my writing, I need to stay connected to why I write — what I do best, what I love.  And then I’ve got to plug into what I want, and how to get there.  What’s in my control (learning, attitude, craft) and what isn’t (the market, editors, readers, sales.)

Most of all, have a smart, achievable goal.  Build gradually, and track progress.  See what’s working and what isn’t.

I am still planning on being a publishing success.

My definition’s changed somewhat — and I’m open to it looking different than my assumptions.

More importantly, I have every intention of sharing my hope, experience, and knowledge with other writers who are muddling through the journey, with nothing but a dream and a plan that isn’t working.

That’s why I started Rock Your Writing.   Because that’s the last thing I learned:

5.  Everyone writes alone.  No one succeeds that way.

In fact, maybe I should’ve opened with that lesson.  It was one of the hardest, strangely enough.

But it’s definitely the most important.

What about you?  What have you learned by “failing,” or not succeeding quite yet, or succeeding and having it look nothing like you expected?

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